3 Minute Monday

3MM: Dreamers, Manspreading & Trophies

Published about 2 months ago • 2 min read


Hi friend,

“Talking about the thing and doing the thing vie for the same resources. Allocate your energy appropriately.” — Ryan Holiday

This is an insight I’ve been thinking about for ages.

It’s actually represented within our brains too.

Talking about our plans gives us a small reward, a dump of dopamine.

No where near as much as doing the thing would do.

But it also takes no where near as much effort as doing the thing would do.

This is how people can get stuck in the trap of always dreaming and never building.

They inoculate themselves from having to do things in the real world by limiting their efforts to the confines of their skull.

There’s something about this type of person which has always turned me off.

I think it’s because our natural tendency is to respond to people who dream and pontificate by doing the same ourselves.

And I’ve had a sense that being around these people encourages me to dream rather than build.

I’ve never wanted to talk about things I want to do unless I’m making a real effort to bring them into reality.

Generally, I think this is a good rule.

Don’t discuss dreams unless you’re planning builds.

We all have that friend who is fantastic at talking plans but never seems to make any progress toward them.

That’s the person I never want to be or be around.

Negative friends bring you down, but at least you know that they’re a bad influence.

Fantasist friends do the same, but you don’t notice the effect.

Don’t talk about it, be about it.


I do a podcast which has had 500 million+ downloads. You should subscribe on Apple Podcasts or Spotify.

This week’s upcoming episodes:

MrBallen - one of the best storytellers in the world in front of our most advanced LED wall set. Strange, dark & mysterious stories plus fascinating military background insights. An absolute must watch.

Daniel Cox - why are boys turning Right Wing and girls turning Left Wing? What role did #MeToo play? How does this affect dating, politics & 2024? A really great breakdown here, super interesting.

2m Q&A - 2 hours of me answering my thoughts on Andrew Huberman's recent drama, the future of the podcasting industry and whether I'm becoming religious or not.


Manspreading is found in other species.

“According to the primatologist Frans de Waal, who sadly recently died, manspreading is not unique to human males; it’s found as well in the males of many nonhuman primates.

In other primates, it functions as both a sexual display and a dominance display: Only the most dominant males feel safe enough to sit with such a vulnerable area of their bodies exposed.

Whether that’s the explanation in humans is anybody’s guess - but I imagine that manspreading is more common among confident guys than timid ones, so perhaps there’s some overlap in the psychology of manspreading in humans vs. nonhuman primates.” — Steve Stewart-Williams

6 priorities for happiness & longevity.

“Harvard's Study of Adult Development followed 800 people throughout their lives and identified 6 key predictors of happiness and longevity:

  • Having a happy childhood
  • Avoiding smoking/alcohol
  • Education
  • Quality relationships
  • Healthy coping skills
  • Giving back

The overall picture: Spend your first few decades building a good life and a well-rounded self.

Then spend your remaining decades sharing with others what you have learned and gained.” — Rob Henderson

People see the trophies but not the training ground.

“Everyone is jealous of what you’ve got, no one is jealous of how you got it.” — Jimmy Carr


How to plan a holistic lads’ trip.

George Mack’s 30th in Miami last weekend was great.

One lesson from scheduling was to always put something in the morning that:

1) Gets everyone up together.
2) Positively changes your state.

E-foiling and Pickleball in the mornings prevented anyone from struggling in bed, forced everyone into a bit of sunlight and set the day up amazingly.

Big love,
Chris x

Try my productivity drink Neutonic.
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3 Minute Monday

by Chris Williamson

Podcaster with 400m+ plays. I write about the most important lessons I learn from the best thinkers on the planet. 160,000+ people read my free newsletter. Press subscribe to join.

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